I have a long list of resolutions for the New Year and most of them involve some sort of personal growth - the hardest ones to achieve, right? As of day six, I am on the right track...... stay tuned.
January 6, 2014
Happy New Year
I think it is safe to say our families took the good with the bad in 2013. I won't get into too many details, but I will say that I've learned so much about myself and others because of it all.
March 1, 2013
I love these girls....
and john… so much, but this is about the girls…
I never imagined I would have kids before I turned 30, i couldn’t even fathom the thought of caring for another life, and making sacrifices… oh the sacrifices. Here I am, 29, with two healthy and beautiful girls, and willingly making a whole lot of sacrifices and being totally ok with it…99.9% of days. I will admit, the kicking, screaming child in me comes out here and there, BUT really, I’m ok and it is SO worth it.
Having one child scares you, the unknown of what lies ahead will drive you mad (it did with me anyways) and then you hold them, and you’re like, “oh my gosh, how did I ever live without you”. I felt this way about elle. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant….terrified. Most days I felt like I never had it together enough to care for another life, and then you realize, you don’t need to have it totally together, and it doesn’t need to be perfect. We welcomed elle, and that little girl has changed our lives. She is so sweet and caring, and not to mention smart… oh my goodness... so smart. not just memorizing ABC’s and 123 smart, but her intuition and self-awareness is truly amazing. She has an phenomenal imagination and those big brown eyes keeps me on my best behavior, every day.
And then there is eve. Oh eve. I call her my little angel baby – her smile is heaven sent. The scary feelings returned, but didn’t last nearly as long. I was definitely ready for her when the time came. I could hardly wait to hold another sweet baby. Thinking about elle no longer being an only child made me sad.. I was scared I would fail her as a mom and so worried about whether or not she would ever feel left out. and again, voila… all worries out the window because you get so caught up in the “what if’s”, I forgot about the beauty of siblings... of family...
Seeing these two together makes my heart happy. Happy that we have them, happy that they have each other. Elle is 2 ½, and Eve will be 6 months (6 MONTHS) in a few short days, and I am aware that they will drive me insane, but for now I choose to look at all the positives. I’d like to think that elle will always be concerned about the well-being of her little sister. A morning never passes when elle’s first words are, “where’s eve?”. She helps pick out her clothes for the day, pajama’s for night, and is convinced that eve NEEDS to have elmo on her diaper, and will dig through the pile until she finds him. And, if it weren’t for elle, eve might not have such a smooth tushy, because that girls brings me the “butt sunscreen” every diaper change and reminds me to put it on.
As the months have gone on, elle and eve have slowly started interacting. In fact, eve’s first true big googly eyed smile was at her sister. Every night at bath time (after the initials screams of the first bath disappeared) eve stared at elle, the entire time. I didn’t even exist. It was like she knew that, “this girl is sorta my size, and she’s probably going to try to take care of me one day” (because that’s what the oldest child tends to do – take care of their siblings, whether they like it or not). I’m excited to watch these two grow, together. I hope they become friends one day...best friends. A mother’s dream, right? I take a lot of pictures of them interacting, hopefully to use them as a reminder, that this is your family, and they are important. However, if the theory of “birth order” is true, we all have struggles ahead, especially if we add to the clan. In the meantime, I will indulge in their sweet innocence and try not to lose my mind during the days of bickering over toys & clothes.
January 8, 2013
baby fever...
yes, it's true, but please remain calm... there will be no babies anytime soon, if ever. however, with a new nephew entering the world this week and another niece or nephew arriving in late summer, my brain is alll baby. this may sound strange, but my favorite part about pregnancy is labor, and not because the baby is finally coming out, but because there is something so wonderful about that moment. it really is my favorite. here are some better late than never pictures of eve on that wonderful day....
January 7, 2013
good-bye 2012...
i honestly feel like i just wrote this post a few weeks ago. how did a whole entire year come and go so quickly? i had plans for 2012, big ones (or so i thought, turns out someone else had a bigger plan... and a much better one) and then on january 8th, i found out i was pregnant with baby number two, and just as of yesterday, that little baby turned four months old.
i've opted out of resolutions this year, simply because i just never really follow through. john and i have agreed to take the next year day by day, month by month because i have learned that its usually the best way to go. i have some things in the back of my mind i'd like to accomplish, but i'm not going to drive myself crazy. i just want to enjoy john and the girls as much as possible and try to get used to our new, and very busy schedule. just thinking about the upcomoing weeks make me want to take a nap, but we'll survive. we always do.
out of the one thousand plus pictures on my phone, i tried to narrow it down to my favorites from this past year. i made this collage last year, and i loved it.
happy new year!
i've opted out of resolutions this year, simply because i just never really follow through. john and i have agreed to take the next year day by day, month by month because i have learned that its usually the best way to go. i have some things in the back of my mind i'd like to accomplish, but i'm not going to drive myself crazy. i just want to enjoy john and the girls as much as possible and try to get used to our new, and very busy schedule. just thinking about the upcomoing weeks make me want to take a nap, but we'll survive. we always do.
out of the one thousand plus pictures on my phone, i tried to narrow it down to my favorites from this past year. i made this collage last year, and i loved it.
happy new year!
November 7, 2012
a major hiatus...
i cannot believe how easily i abandoned one of my favorite things to do. i don't even know where to start. yesterday eve turned 2 months old. she is everything wonderful and more. really, she is precious. the last 2 months have been a blur. adjusting to two little ones took me about 6 weeks to get the hang of. i have yet to leave the house with both of them by myself. elle is probably the world's best behaved 2 year old (at home...out in public is a whole different scenario). she has been so patient and sweet that when she does act up, i find it really hard to get upset with her. i am grateful for these two precious girls.
eve "woke up" at 5 1/2 weeks, and when i say woke up, i mean smiling, cooing, and all that other fun stuff. she is a good little eater and sleeper for the most part... a pretty typical infant. tonight she is sleeping in her crib. *sigh*.... hoping i make it through the night without her little noisy self by my side.
for now i will leave you with one of my favorite pictures of eve taken 3 weeks ago. more to come soon.
eve "woke up" at 5 1/2 weeks, and when i say woke up, i mean smiling, cooing, and all that other fun stuff. she is a good little eater and sleeper for the most part... a pretty typical infant. tonight she is sleeping in her crib. *sigh*.... hoping i make it through the night without her little noisy self by my side.
for now i will leave you with one of my favorite pictures of eve taken 3 weeks ago. more to come soon.
August 7, 2012
tick tock
I opened my baby countdown app, and I was greeted with “37 more days”!
We found out I was expecting January 8th, and I can’t believe we are already in August. It is almost disturbing how quickly time flies.
My mind has been consumed with all things baby, and when I say baby, Elle is still in that category even though she’s 2 and acting a little more grown up every day. In June we celebrated her 2nd birthday, and on Saturday, she moved into her new bedroom. I can’t believe she is two years old. I can’t believe she’s sleeping in a twin bed and handled the change flawlessly.
We are tying up some loose ends around the house, and getting ourselves ready for baby Eve. I’m really, really excited to meet her. The reality of pregnancy doesn’t really hit me until about the half-way point - I need to know the gender - I need to know the name, and it isn’t up until that point I get really excited for about what’s to come. I would say the first half of pregnancy is stressful. I feel like crap, and sometimes I’m just too big of a realist/planner and all the things I can’t control consume my mind. I felt like I was betraying Elle by bringing another baby into our home. My first biggest concern was, who is going to watch Elle while I’m in labor. My Mom had to practically talk me off a cliff one afternoon. John and I have left Elle one night and it was this past June. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I have been away from Elle a couple other nights, but it’s just different when I know she is with her daddy. I don’t know how people take vacations without their kids. I find myself being judgmental and envious all at the same time.
So, that sums up the last 8 months of my life… a long with these pictures::
We found out I was expecting January 8th, and I can’t believe we are already in August. It is almost disturbing how quickly time flies.
My mind has been consumed with all things baby, and when I say baby, Elle is still in that category even though she’s 2 and acting a little more grown up every day. In June we celebrated her 2nd birthday, and on Saturday, she moved into her new bedroom. I can’t believe she is two years old. I can’t believe she’s sleeping in a twin bed and handled the change flawlessly.
We are tying up some loose ends around the house, and getting ourselves ready for baby Eve. I’m really, really excited to meet her. The reality of pregnancy doesn’t really hit me until about the half-way point - I need to know the gender - I need to know the name, and it isn’t up until that point I get really excited for about what’s to come. I would say the first half of pregnancy is stressful. I feel like crap, and sometimes I’m just too big of a realist/planner and all the things I can’t control consume my mind. I felt like I was betraying Elle by bringing another baby into our home. My first biggest concern was, who is going to watch Elle while I’m in labor. My Mom had to practically talk me off a cliff one afternoon. John and I have left Elle one night and it was this past June. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I have been away from Elle a couple other nights, but it’s just different when I know she is with her daddy. I don’t know how people take vacations without their kids. I find myself being judgmental and envious all at the same time.
So, that sums up the last 8 months of my life… a long with these pictures::
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| three years in our home |
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| two years with this smile |
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| father's day |
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| three years of marriage |
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| my girls |
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| growing up too fast |
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| first night away, together |
April 22, 2012
it's a girl, it's a girl, we are having another girl!!
That’s how I feel inside. I sort of just want to pinch myself and make sure this is real life.
Up until about week 15 of this pregnancy, I had vivid dreams I was having a boy. The same thing happened with Elle, and lone behold, we have a daughter. So, this time around, I was 99.9% convinced we were having a boy. I would have been completely happy with a boy too (seriously). Sometimes I think our household could use some additional testosterone. John's currently out-numbered.... our cat, Baby, has attitude too. John knew it was a girl all along. He says it's his lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women. He also says I'm not physically capable of carrying anything that produces testosterone??!
I knew I wanted Elle to have a sister. Whether it be this one, or the next one, or the next one….. I really wanted Elle to have a sister. Needless to say, we are way excited with a pinch of nervous. Two little kids changes things even more...
Up until about week 15 of this pregnancy, I had vivid dreams I was having a boy. The same thing happened with Elle, and lone behold, we have a daughter. So, this time around, I was 99.9% convinced we were having a boy. I would have been completely happy with a boy too (seriously). Sometimes I think our household could use some additional testosterone. John's currently out-numbered.... our cat, Baby, has attitude too. John knew it was a girl all along. He says it's his lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women. He also says I'm not physically capable of carrying anything that produces testosterone??!
I knew I wanted Elle to have a sister. Whether it be this one, or the next one, or the next one….. I really wanted Elle to have a sister. Needless to say, we are way excited with a pinch of nervous. Two little kids changes things even more...
February 2, 2012
do i dare...
Do I dare say, "I'm LOVING this winter"? I feel like as soon as I say the words, I will be trapped in a snow drift and the tow truck won't be able to find my car.
Even though Elle's snow pants still have the tags on them, I'm kind of OK with it. We really deserve the break. To be quite honest, I'm not really a winter sport enthusiasts, so that makes this winter a winner in my book.
Here is Elle, staring at the grass in January. She gets so excited when it does finally decide to snow, and that's only because she has no clue how cold it can really get out there.
Even though Elle's snow pants still have the tags on them, I'm kind of OK with it. We really deserve the break. To be quite honest, I'm not really a winter sport enthusiasts, so that makes this winter a winner in my book.
Here is Elle, staring at the grass in January. She gets so excited when it does finally decide to snow, and that's only because she has no clue how cold it can really get out there.
January 27, 2012
nevaeh is heaven spelled backwards
elle neveah syracuse. i rarely say her whole name, let alone her middle name, but I was thinking to myself yesterday how much I loved it. elle turned 19 months old this month, and it’s incredible to think that so much time has gone by. she is our little slice of heaven, there’s no doubt about it.
i wanted to make a list of things she is saying or doing, but it is so hard because it changes every day. she is constantly learning something new. However, the more I thought about it, I’ve decided that my favorite things about her is not so much what she can say or do, but how she does it. she has the cutest mannerisms. I love her dance moves, her laugh, and she gives the best hugs and kisses a mama or dada can ask for. I love the way she runs to the door when I get home from work, it almost makes it worth leaving because her enthusiasm is something I can’t possibly describe. I love the way she points with her little chubby fingers, her big toothy mischievous smile, the way she closes her eyes when we are saying bedtime prayers…she swings her head around all over the place and always checks to see if my eyes are still closed (obviously, I’m peeking too), and did I mention her laugh… oh yeah, I did… but I never want to forget what it sounds like. ever.
elle makes all bad days good, and good days better. we just absolutely love her.
i wanted to make a list of things she is saying or doing, but it is so hard because it changes every day. she is constantly learning something new. However, the more I thought about it, I’ve decided that my favorite things about her is not so much what she can say or do, but how she does it. she has the cutest mannerisms. I love her dance moves, her laugh, and she gives the best hugs and kisses a mama or dada can ask for. I love the way she runs to the door when I get home from work, it almost makes it worth leaving because her enthusiasm is something I can’t possibly describe. I love the way she points with her little chubby fingers, her big toothy mischievous smile, the way she closes her eyes when we are saying bedtime prayers…she swings her head around all over the place and always checks to see if my eyes are still closed (obviously, I’m peeking too), and did I mention her laugh… oh yeah, I did… but I never want to forget what it sounds like. ever.
elle makes all bad days good, and good days better. we just absolutely love her.
January 26, 2012
twenty nine.
Happy 29th Birthday to my sweet hubby. I loved on him in last year's birthday post, so I won't go on again here. But, I think I love him even more this year... if that's even possible.
John requested steak for his birthday, and he definately got it...
We went out to a cute restaurant and got all dressed up. We had a really great time together. I wish we had more time for dates.
John's birthday celebration ended quickly because just a few hours after our date, I got sick and he spent the rest of his birthday vacation taking care of me. I plan on making this one up to him. I hope he always knows how important he is to me, and elle. We love you babe. Happy Birthday. xoxo
John requested steak for his birthday, and he definately got it...
John's birthday celebration ended quickly because just a few hours after our date, I got sick and he spent the rest of his birthday vacation taking care of me. I plan on making this one up to him. I hope he always knows how important he is to me, and elle. We love you babe. Happy Birthday. xoxo
January 3, 2012
good-bye 2011, it was lovely
Happy 2012? I can’t believe 2011 is behind us. Time flies when you’re having fun.
I was looking through all of our photo’s yesterday and 2011 was a blur because we were so incredibly busy. I was constantly preparing for some event and before I knew it, we are here, celebrating a brand new year.
Our families were blessed with a two sweet babies, and I’m really looking forward to the ones that will be entering our lives in 2012. Elle turned one, and every day, I am still so grateful to be her mama. John and I celebrated two years of marriage, two years of home ownership, one entire year of being parents, and five full years of being in love.. which I am grateful to say, we are still very much in.
I made some new year’s resolutions the other day, and my list was long and un-obtainable, so I had to re-evaluate. My hopes for the new year are to relax and enjoy family and friends who value us as much as we do them. I plan to read a few more books, and keep on top of my journal which has been so extremely scattered the last few years. And of course, work on our home. The obvious, never ending project. I hope the new year brings you health, peace, and happiness.
A mini photo re-cap of the last few months::
I was looking through all of our photo’s yesterday and 2011 was a blur because we were so incredibly busy. I was constantly preparing for some event and before I knew it, we are here, celebrating a brand new year.
Our families were blessed with a two sweet babies, and I’m really looking forward to the ones that will be entering our lives in 2012. Elle turned one, and every day, I am still so grateful to be her mama. John and I celebrated two years of marriage, two years of home ownership, one entire year of being parents, and five full years of being in love.. which I am grateful to say, we are still very much in.
I made some new year’s resolutions the other day, and my list was long and un-obtainable, so I had to re-evaluate. My hopes for the new year are to relax and enjoy family and friends who value us as much as we do them. I plan to read a few more books, and keep on top of my journal which has been so extremely scattered the last few years. And of course, work on our home. The obvious, never ending project. I hope the new year brings you health, peace, and happiness.
A mini photo re-cap of the last few months::
*family disclaimer:: only photos from my iphone*
November 24, 2011
Thankful...
Every year, people post their “thankful” list. This is mine: husband & sassy baby girl (they make my world go round), parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces/nephews/cousins, the health of all those I love, many life lessons along the way (good, bad, and ugly – without them I would know nothing), my heated and lit home, our jobs (even though we have been complaining a lot), my outlook calendar and iphone (the “reminder” function is imperative to my sanity), gps, my girly friends (they are also imperative to my sanity), caffiene and any beverage that includes it, my glasses, warm bed, family dinners, make-up, and the fresh outdoor air (preferably warm).
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
November 7, 2011
lately...
The end of my semester is just around the corner and I could jump for joy. I have no idea what the future of all this schooling will hold, but what I do know is that it will all just work out just fine. In between studying, sleeping, playing with Elle and missing my husband 4 days a week I have a ton of things consuming my mind:
What am I going to do with that awkward corner in my living room?
Will my dining room ever get any attention?
How many pictures on a wall is too much?
Are my husband and sister on to something about me cutting my hair?
Can I really teach myself how to sew now that I have a Cricut?
Garden or Chicken coop?
Are the Kardashian’s faking it?
Which decorations will go on my Christmas tree this year?
Bunk beds, day bed, or 2-twin beds?
Can I combine a play room/office/craft room?
Oh the important...
What am I going to do with that awkward corner in my living room?
Will my dining room ever get any attention?
How many pictures on a wall is too much?
Are my husband and sister on to something about me cutting my hair?
Can I really teach myself how to sew now that I have a Cricut?
Garden or Chicken coop?
Are the Kardashian’s faking it?
Which decorations will go on my Christmas tree this year?
Bunk beds, day bed, or 2-twin beds?
Can I combine a play room/office/craft room?
Oh the important...
October 9, 2011
my little darling
elle has been learning so many new words lately, but my new favorite is, "love you". she has been saying it all day and she melted our hearts every single time. oh my gosh, you have no idea.
she can say; mama, dada, lori, dindy (cindy), papa (that's her word for grandpa), memaw (my mom), baby, please (peezzz), up, book, ball, "zoo's who" (book), LOVE YOU, more, dink (drink), elmo, all done, hi, bye, and i think that's it right now. she can pronounce her colors, but only if you ask her to.
and look at her wearing my shoes around the house. we like to take them off at the door, but i think i'll let this one slide.
she can say; mama, dada, lori, dindy (cindy), papa (that's her word for grandpa), memaw (my mom), baby, please (peezzz), up, book, ball, "zoo's who" (book), LOVE YOU, more, dink (drink), elmo, all done, hi, bye, and i think that's it right now. she can pronounce her colors, but only if you ask her to.
September 9, 2011
sad.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the hubby’s work schedule. In fact, I don’t think either of us will ever get use to his horrible hours. I really don’t know how women around the world deal with their husbands being gone for extended periods of time… they are a lot tougher than I am. My hubby is only gone one day at a time, but the hours are not desirable. They sometimes leave me feeling like a single Mom, and him a single Dad.
We’ve been doing this for almost 4 years and it never seemed this difficult until we brought little Elle into the world. Before I could fill my time with studying and friends, but now I fill my time with Elle. This is never a bad thing, but now more than ever I wish he was home to spend time with us…. together as a family unit. Four days a week we see each other for an hour… if we are lucky. The other three days are great but they go by so fast with trying to squeeze family, friends, and home projects in the mix… and oh yeah…….. time for just us. Some days it feels nearly impossible to lead a semi normal life.
I’m sure one day we will lead the typical 9-5 schedule together, but that day seems so far away. Since I work everyday as well, his schedule keeps Elle home with us more and only in the care of someone else for a short period of time, 3 days a week. This is the number one reason and pretty much the only reason why John is still on this schedule.
I know I need to keep a positive attitude, but I'm going to complain tonight because I really miss him!
We’ve been doing this for almost 4 years and it never seemed this difficult until we brought little Elle into the world. Before I could fill my time with studying and friends, but now I fill my time with Elle. This is never a bad thing, but now more than ever I wish he was home to spend time with us…. together as a family unit. Four days a week we see each other for an hour… if we are lucky. The other three days are great but they go by so fast with trying to squeeze family, friends, and home projects in the mix… and oh yeah…….. time for just us. Some days it feels nearly impossible to lead a semi normal life.
I’m sure one day we will lead the typical 9-5 schedule together, but that day seems so far away. Since I work everyday as well, his schedule keeps Elle home with us more and only in the care of someone else for a short period of time, 3 days a week. This is the number one reason and pretty much the only reason why John is still on this schedule.
I know I need to keep a positive attitude, but I'm going to complain tonight because I really miss him!
August 15, 2011
my blackberry
a few months ago, i said good-bye to my blackberry. it was time to simplify. here are some pictures off of that phone... i don't miss the phone nearly as much as i miss that tiny baby. she is getting so big.
July 25, 2011
July 22, 2011
Suzy Homemaker
Since I’ve had Elle the homemaker is peeping its way out. I know it’s always been hiding deep down inside, but I would rarely let it reveal itself. Well, now that I’m a Mom, there are no hiding those instincts.
I realized today, now more than ever, how easy it would be for me to just sit home and do all the things I dream about at work. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? In fact, the grass is SO green on the other side, I’m wearing sunglasses. I know in all reality, the job of SAHM isn’t nearly as glamorous as I imagine, but it’s nice to dream.
I dreamt about it today on my lunch break. A couple times a week I go across the street and wander the antique store. My favorite items are the old antique dishes… what I wouldn’t give to own a set of vintage, pastel Pyrex bowls. I pictured me and Elle smiling and baking in our cute, matching homemade aprons. I pictured all of my family over for a nice sit down dinner where I could display all of my fancy vintage finds.
I always tell John I was born in the wrong decade. What I wouldn’t give to live in the 50’s… cute, modest homes equipped with dishes, furniture, and fabric I can only dream about. He quickly crushes my dream and reminds me how big of a feminist I am and how I wouldn’t survive a day back then or maybe even now. I know deep down he’s right, but I can still dream, right?
I realized today, now more than ever, how easy it would be for me to just sit home and do all the things I dream about at work. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? In fact, the grass is SO green on the other side, I’m wearing sunglasses. I know in all reality, the job of SAHM isn’t nearly as glamorous as I imagine, but it’s nice to dream.
I dreamt about it today on my lunch break. A couple times a week I go across the street and wander the antique store. My favorite items are the old antique dishes… what I wouldn’t give to own a set of vintage, pastel Pyrex bowls. I pictured me and Elle smiling and baking in our cute, matching homemade aprons. I pictured all of my family over for a nice sit down dinner where I could display all of my fancy vintage finds.
I always tell John I was born in the wrong decade. What I wouldn’t give to live in the 50’s… cute, modest homes equipped with dishes, furniture, and fabric I can only dream about. He quickly crushes my dream and reminds me how big of a feminist I am and how I wouldn’t survive a day back then or maybe even now. I know deep down he’s right, but I can still dream, right?
July 18, 2011
Grandma Z
Happy 92nd Birthday to my GREAT Grandma! I just can't even believe it. There aren't many girls around that get to say they celebrated their GREATGrandma's 92nd birthday... and even better... I have a daughter and she has a GREAT GREAT Grandma. Grandma Z is a very special lady in my life and Sunday we went to wish her a Happy Birthday. I love that Elle LOVES her as much as I do!
July 4th
Over the 4th we went on a fun little family vacation visiting John’s parents. The weather was beautiful and Elle was amazing… the long hours in the car were tough but we all survived. We tried to get tans (not as easy when you sit in the shade with your baby), saw some pretty amazing fireworks in a very eclectic town, visited the Chicago zoo (so beautiful), and had lunch and ice cream Lake Geneva (I need to make friends there).
It took everything I had to not post 100 of the 200 pictures I took. These are my favorites. The zoo was amazing and there were so many animals out and about. These were by far the cutest of the bunch!
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